Just a small piece of the journey
I've been going through a lot of emotional stuff for the past month or so.
One issue got kicked up so to speak and that kicked up a whole lot of other things. Mainly around relationships, including boundaries, self-care, speaking up, speaking your truth, etc., etc.
Last night I asked my angels to help me forgive a person in my life. Someone that I have known for a long time. Truth be told, it has not been an easy relationship for a long time. Long periods of not talking, then talking briefly with miscommunication. But the miscommunication was unknown to me, as it was never spoken of or addressed. Anyway, lots of strain, periods of estrangement and then coming together for a short time and it seems good and then the past is brought up on both sides and with it painful words or memories. Just a little backstory. The details are not important. The story is not as important as the emotions behind the story and what the emotions bring up for each person. And the emotions are the key to figuring out how you or the other person feels and how to best move forward.
And please know that we have NO control over what people think or feel, how they perceive things, how they process things and what may have occurred in their past to trigger an out of the blue reaction to something you do or say in any given moment. This doesn't mean we are not kind or sensitive to others. It just means, we can have the best of intentions, speak in a kind and loving tone and manner and the information may be heard differently by the receiver.
Back to asking my angels to help me to forgive myself and this other person. Well, I was not expecting so much resistance by me to my request. Of course I want peace and love in this relationship, but I realized what came up was this pattern that goes back decades of push and pull, love and confusion/hate, I'm right - you are wrong.
And more so than that, I was attached to being right.
Oh seriously? that's what I am truly feeling. ok. now what?
I wanted to just surrender my story and anger to the angels and I wanted a "quickie" forgiveness session. Good one Anastasia. I even started doing Ho'oponopono work to release the anger. Ho'oponopono, is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness.
In a nutshell Ho'oponopono goes like this,
"I'm sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you."
You say it while you imagine the other person or situation in front of you.
It can also be done by you and for you, to forgive yourself.
This is what I felt and what came up as I started saying the phrases.
I'm am truly sorry for all the years of miscommunication, lack of communication, estrangement, for all the years of you perhaps feeling slighted. I am sorry that we can't communicate in such a manner that the other person feels heard and validated. I'm truly sorry for anything I have done or said or thought that hurt you in any way, intentional or unintentionally.
Please forgive me for the above. It was NEVER, EVER, EVER my intention to hurt you or anyone else for that matter. Please forgive me for what I have done to you in this life and for any other lifetimes we may have been together where we hurt one another.
I love you very much. I am in AWE of who you are, of what you have accomplished, of how your mind works, of what your hands can do, of how funny you are, of how you can tell a story in such a colorful and engaging manner. I love you for all the bits and pieces of you that I know. And I love you for all the parts of you that I don't know because you don't feel safe and feel afraid to share those with me. I know those parts of you are equally MAGNIFICENT.
Thank you for being in my life. in whatever way we can manage. Thank you for your support. Thank you for your love. Thank you for sharing this journey with me however it may wind and twist and turn and end.
And I know even when this journey and our respective lifetimes end here on earth, the journey is not over. We go on in Spirit. We go on in Love. I believe we go on laughing and playing and loving one another.
A Course in Miracle tells me "Only LOVE is Real." Everything else comes from a place of fear and the unfortunate thought some of us carry (including me) that we are separate from Source and that we are not whole, not loved, not worthy, fill in the blank.
I chose to believe that only love is real here with you. That we are loving each other as best we can and know how with the tools we both have in each and every present moment. I know beyond this time space reality of Planet Earth, our souls have loved and will continue to love each other. That is what the Highest Thought and Expression of Love is. Not this earthly, hard, dense stuff that doesn't feel good. But what is Real is the more Expansive, soft, loving, kind, generous, caring, funny and light stuff we are made of.
I wish you peace. I wish you a soft place to land your head at night and an even softer place where your heart feels safe all the time. I am sorry for the ways I have hurt you. It was never my intention. I wish you love and I wish for whatever makes your heart sing and light up.
I love you Precious Soul.
As for me, this process is not over, not by a long shot. There is more forgiveness work for me to do, on myself, with others and on what I think others have done to me.
And I'm fairly certain this is just the beginning of the forgiveness work with the person I have mentioned above. There will be layers and layers to peel off and discard. And I ask for it do be done with ease and grace, easily and effortlessly and for the Highest Good of all involved.
The Course in Miracles, which is sitting on my bed and next to me most days, says, "Forgive your brother/sister/other person for what you think he did to you. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for holding a grudge, for judging, for being estranged from the other person. Forgive yourself for not being in the present moment and experiencing the expansiveness of the moment while you hold onto the past or fret about the future."
I'm paraphrasing here. And of course, this does not mean, allow others to hurt you over and over again, or to stay in abusive relationships. It is more about releasing the thoughts and judgments that keep us separate from ourselves, separate from each other and more importantly separate from our Source and Creator.
I hope there was something here that might have touched you in some way and may inspire you to forgive yourself or someone else, in your own way and time. In whatever feels safe and right for you. I bless you on this journey in life and particularly on the journey of forgiveness. Be gentle with yourselves and others. Be kind. Be true to you. Love You. Take what feels good and get rid of the rest.
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If I can assist you on your journey through one of my services of offerings, I would be delighted. I offer SuperConnection sessions to uncover blocks and patterns of stuckness. I actually did about an hour session on myself and this person and uncovered a LOT of things that were contributing to our past dynamic. It was so very helpful and allowed me to do the next step of the forgiveness work.
This session is offered remotely over the phone or Zoom.
I offer EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, or often times simply called tapping. EFT taps on various meridian points to release stuck emotions, ideas, stories, whatever is stored in our minds, hearts, cells, collective consciousness.
This session is also offered remotely over the phone or Zoom.
I also make Custom Flower Essences for people and pets, which help to release and soften physical, mental and emotional issues and patterns. Flower essences work with us in a very gentle way, while having very powerful results. Safe for pregnant women and children also. You simply add a couple of drops of the essence I make for you on your tongue or in a glass of water and drink throughout the day. Can we added to bath water. It's super easy and offers great support and results.
And lastly, I make Custom blended Aromatherapy Oils and Sprays to lift or shift your mood or situation, which may be physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. Some people prefer aromatherapy to flower essences because aromatherapy smells good and stimulates the senses. Flower essences have no smell or odor. But both will help you shift and feel better and be better able to cope with your day and the challenges you may face.
All info you need to order, book a session or get more info is here:
https://www.onecosmicheart.com/
Thank you for your support and interest in my work.
Blessed Be.
~ Anastasia
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